Two Funny Stories Published in April

April 26, 2013
Artwork by Andres Mossa

Artwork by Andres Mossa

 

I’ve been so busy with UFO2 Kickstarter and submissions that I’ve neglected to announce several of my recent publications (which I will gleefully catch up on in this post!)

Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma at Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show

This is easily the funniest story I’ve had published to date. One day I was loitering on Twitter and saw friend and fellow writer Sylvia Spruck Wrigley complain about the difficulty she was having explaining Cthulhu to grandma.

“That would make a great story title,” I told her. She agreed, and said that she would try to come up with something that fit.

A few weeks passed and the title stuck with me, so I followed up with Sylvia to see if she had made any progress. She said that she hadn’t and I asked if I could use the title myself. She said yes, and I wrote the story within a couple of days — which is super fast, for me. I named the protagonist Sylvia and named her character’s grandmother and gran-grandmother after Sylvia’s own mom and grandma.

This story is about a magic pawn shop. Somebody trades in Cthulhu on pawn (it’s stored in a handy pocket dimension which looks like a snow globe) and all sorts of wackiness ensues. I have since written a sequel where a Pandora’s box finds its way into the magic pawn shop, and plan on writing more stories in this setting.

IGMS is a great home for this story. They published it today in issue #33, and while you have to subscribe to read the entire story, you can read an excerpt and see the awesome original artwork by Andres Mossa in full size by clicking this link.

The Epistolary History at The Journal of Nature

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This is a flash fiction story about a hapless time traveler I wrote in February. In honor of the letter-writing month it’s told entirely through letters. Since this one is available online for free, I will direct you to read it rather than telling you too much more about it.

Amusingly I received e-mail acceptances for these two stories within a *minute* of each other, making that pretty much the best minute of my writing career, ever. It’s fitting that they were published within 24 hours of each other, too.

The Field Trip at Cast of Wonders

The Field Trip is now my most cosmopolitan story yet. It was originally printed in the In Situ anthology from Dagan Books. It has been translated into Polish and was accepted to be translated and published in Romanian. And now it’s been podcast by a UK audio magazine. You can listen to it here. This is the first time this story is available online for free.

Putting it All Together at Toasted Cake

This story is the only one of the four that isn’t humorous. Instead, it’s very lyrical — which is well outside of my normal writing comfort zone. And Tina Connolly was the perfect performer to read it! The story was originally published at Nine Magazine, which is sadly defunct. It’s not currently available anywhere online in print form,  but you can listen and enjoy the podcast.

And that’s my recap for April. Next month I have stories coming out in Daily Science Fiction, One Sentence Stories anthology, and Buzzy Magazine. Stay tuned!

 

 

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Posted by Alex Shvartsman

My LunaCon schedule plus a great week of sales

March 15, 2013

LunaCon2013

I will be attending LunaCon this Saturday and Sunday. Below is my schedule one panels (plus a reading!)

SATURDAY:

10am – Humor in SF (1 hour panel) – Poplar

What are the most effective humorous SF books? Are any both funny and groundbreaking, or does humor rely on sending up established tropes? What both funny and sad? Funny and plausible? How much of SF humor depends on surprise, and how much stands up to rereading? Do SF and fantasy humor work the same way, or are there fundamental differences?

Other panelists: Elektra Hammond (moderator), Patrick Thomas, Russ Colchamiro, Theodore Krulik

1pm – How To Get Your Story Rejected (1 hour panel) – Maple

Sometimes a story is rejected simply because it doesn’t fit the needs of the editor. But sometimes there is something more. Our panel of editors will discuss what they look for and what they don’t want to see.

Other panelists: Ben Parris (moderator), Neil Clarke, Hildy Silverman, Ian Randal Strock

6pm – Finding The Right Critic (1 hour panel) – William Odelle

Choose your first draft’s enemy’s wisely. Whether a class, a writer’s group, beta reader, or editor for hire, who you show your unfinished work to can make a big difference to the finished product. How to find critiquers who get what you’re going for, and will make useful suggestions in a style you can handle — and when to stop to revising and submit.

Other panelists: April Grey, Russ Colchamiro, Myke Cole, D.L. Carter

9pm – Reading (30 minutes) – Bartell

I will read one (or more) of my stories. Out loud.

 

SUNDAY

11am – None of the Above (1 hour panel) – Westchester Ballroom B

In the ongoing debate about self-publishing versus traditional publishing, crowdsourcing is an emerging third option. What are the pros and cons of each approach, and does crowdsourcing work for debut authors, or does it require a platform of readers from one of the other routes first?

Other panelists: Ben Parris (moderator), Mark Abbott, Elektra Hammond, Patricia McCracken

12pm – Hugo Worthy Fiction (1 hour panel) – Birch

What was on YOUR Hugo nomination ballot? What do you think will make the final ballot and what would YOU vote for?

Other panelists: Lisa Padol (moderator), Byron P. Connell, Lawrence M. Schoen

If you would like to hear me speak on any of these subjects, or just want to say hello, come find me at LunaCon! And I would especially like everyone to attend the 9pm reading. Pretty please?

I also have many awesome sales to brag about this week. Four, to be exact. In chronological order:

“True Love,” a SF flash story to Daily Science Fiction

“Putting it All Together,” a SF flash story to Toasted Cake Podcast (reprint; originally appeared in Nine magazine issue 1)

“Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma,” a humor fantasy story to Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show

“The Epistolary History,” a humor SF flash story to Nature’s Futures

That’s 3 pro markets and a Parsec Award-winning podcast in one week. If I wasn’t qualified for SFWA membership, I would have qualified with this week’s sales alone. So please excuse me while I run some victory laps.

 

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Publication: A Thousand Cuts in One Buck Horror 6

March 10, 2013

OBH6

After a fairly long hiatus, a new installment of the highly acclaimed horror series has been released, and it includes my short story “A Thousand Cuts.”

Each edition of One Buck Horror featured 4-6 horror stories, and the previous volumes have been very well received by critics and readers alike. OBH6 features a strong lineup:

“Blood Sisters” by Jamie Lackey
“A Thousand Cuts” by Alex Shvartsman
“Per Una Selva Oscura” by Michael Matheson
“Little Man” by W. P. Johnson
“Pretend” by Michael Wehunt
“The Dead Apple Tree” by Leslianne Wilder

You can purchase it here for only $0.99

Those of you familiar with my writing know that I don’t generally write horror. However, I occasionally write science fiction or fantasy so dark that it can easily feel at home in a horror publication. Spidersong and Nuclear Family are both solid examples. A Thousand Cuts is another such story. It’s a tale of a Russian woman who married an American and transplanted to an unfamiliar life in Greenwich, CT.  This story is about relationships, mental health, the yearning for home, and it features a domovoi — a mischievous Russian house spirit. It was written in 2011 and accepted at OBH over a year ago, so I’m thrilled that the readers will finally get a chance to check it out.

 

 

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Publication: “Requiem for a Druid” in Galaxy’s Edge

February 28, 2013

GalaxysEdge001

 

The inaugural issue (March 2013) of Galaxy’s Edge magazine edited by Mike Resnick is now live, and I’m honored to have a story included in the distinguished company of some amazing authors whose work is featured in this volume. My story in this issue is called Requiem for a Druid. It is the second Conrad Brent adventure, and although it stands fine on its own, I do recommend that you read A Shard Glows in Brooklyn first.

In Requiem for a Druid Conrad goes up against New York’s best-known real estate developer with a penchant for stamping his name on everything and a bad hairdo. You know. That guy.

In other news, I recently made appearances on two blogs.  Susan J Voss was kind enough to interview me on her blog, Deb of Darkness and  I wrote a mini-essay about the slush-reading process for Unidentified Funny Objects for Anne E Johnson’s blog. I appreciate the opportunity to talk up Unidentified Funny Objects an extra time. The e-book sales have been steady and I hope to move forward on the second volume sooner rather than later.

Finally, I’m going to be publishing several of my stories as eBooks on Amazon and other e-reader platforms. I have already lined up some absolutely amazing cover art which I can’t wait to share with everyone in the coming days.

Last but not least, check out an in-depth review of Unidentified Funny Objects by Mieneke van der Salm at the Fantastical Librarian blog.

 

 

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“Spidersong” at Drabblecast

February 11, 2013

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“Spidersong” was my first SFWA-qualifying sale and remains one of my stronger flash stories written to date. It’s been a busy week for this little story. First it was reprinted in the anthology of Campbell Qualified authors (see previous post), and today it’s live at Drabblecast!

They do an amazing job, making the story sound awesome and creepy at the same time. It’s also really cool that “Spidersong” got the cover treatment! (It’s one of three flash stories in this week’ s edition).

 

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2013 Campbellian Pre-Reading Anthology

February 8, 2013

campbell

The award season is upon us. Hardcore fans are furiously catching up on their reading so they can nominate their favorite books and stories for Hugo and Nebula Awards. But for those of us who only recently joined the ranks of professionally published authors, there’s another important accolade: the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer.

One is eligible for the Campbell Award within the first two years of their first professional publication. Most of the time the title goes to writers who produce an excellent first novel, but occasionally short fiction writers have been honored as well.

There are literally dozens of great eligible authors. Chances are, you don’t know who most of them are yet — but you should.  This year, M. David Blake and Bruce Bethke of Stupefying Stories put together a great sampler of work from the eligible writers. Whether you plan to vote for the award or not, you can download this very large volume absolutely free of charge. It may contain the next G.R.R. Martin or J.K. Rowling and you’ll be able to claim that you were reading them since way before they became famous!

In addition to those soon-to-be discovered geniuses, this anthology contains three of my stories:

“Spidersong” is a dark SF flash which was originally published by Daily Science Fiction in late 2011 and was my first Campbell-eligible sale.
“A Shard Glows in Brooklyn” is an adventure story that combines humor, noir, and urban fantasy elements with the colorful setting of my home town. It was printed in Buzzy Magazine last April.

“You Bet” is an absurdist humor piece about a unique Poker game. I published it at the UFO web site as part of my fulfilling the promises made during the UFO Kickstarter campaign.

When given an opportunity to showcase some of my work in this anthology, I selected these stories because I feel they are a good representation of the sort of things I like to write. They are not my best work to date — those stories are either releasing in 2013 or are still looking for markets — but they’re good stories and I’m proud to have them help make my case for nomination.

So why should you consider nominating me for the Campbell Award?

* I wrote my first story in the spring of 2010. I sold it the same year. And I sold my second one, too.

* In 3 years, I sold 43 original stories to date, not counting reprints and micro things like Twitter fiction.

* Six of those sales are to SFWA qualifying markets. Many others are to pro paying markets.

As proud as I am of those accomplishments, everything really comes down to just one thing: how much do you like the stories? So, please, read this anthology. Track down and read works by the eligible authors who weren’t included in it. And then nominate / vote for the authors whose work has impressed you the most.

Download the FREE Campbellian Pre-Reading Anthology here.

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Posted by Alex Shvartsman

German Anthology Seeks International Submissions

February 3, 2013

Editor Erik Schreiber at Saphir im Stahl is putting together an ambitious anthology titled “80 Science Fiction Stories Around the World.”

In this book he’s hoping to collect one science fiction story each from 80 different countries!

Mr. Schreiber has indicated that he already received stories from Chile, Colombia and Spain. My own “The Miracle on Tau Prime,” originally published at Daily Science Fiction, will represent USA. Most other countries are still open, and if you have a story you would like to see translated into German and to appear in this book, contact Mr. Schreiber at info@saphir-im-stahl.de

He’s looking for science fiction stories 4-5 double-spaced pages long, 900 characters per page  (that’s up to about 1500 words). Submissions in all languages will be considered if possible, and he asks that authors include a brief bio.

Added on 2/6/13: Acceptances confirmed from Canada and UK! If your story was accepted from one of the other countries, please post in the comments.

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Publication: “The Field Trip” in Nowa Fantastyka

January 29, 2013

NowaFantastyka0113

 

My short story “The Field Trip,” was was originally published in the In Situ anthology from Dagan Books, appears in the February issue of Nowa Fantastyka, Poland’s premier SF magazine.  This is the first time one of my stories has been translated and published in another language, and the magazine looks spectacular. Plus, I get to share the TOC with Tad Williams. How cool is that?

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“The Far Side of the Wilderness” accepted at Beyond the Sun

January 28, 2013

BTS-Cover-400x267

I first heard about “Beyond the Sun” when editor Bryan Thomas Schmidt launching a crowdfunding campaign for it on Kickstarter. I love space opera, and was intrigued by the concept as well as by the stellar list of potential contributors. So I summoned up the courage and reached out to Bryan, asking if he would consider a submission from me.  He graciously allowed me to submit something, and a few weeks later I e-mailed him a space opera story with lots of alien races, intergalactic conflict, and other cool stuff that I was certain would win Bryan over.

It was rejected within a week.

Bryan was a class act though. Despite the fact that he knew he wasn’t going to pick up the story, he returned the file with extensive copy-edits and suggestions, many of which I adopted before submitting it elsewhere. I thanked him, and asked if I could try something else. Bryan told me that he’d let me know, but in all fairness, he wanted to get submissions from all the other writers he invited first. Which made perfect sense.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I was down with a nasty case of the flu which was just beginning work me over. I wake up on a Wednesday morning to an email from Bryan, letting me know that I can submit something else, but I’d have to get it to him by the weekend. At this point I have no space opera story in my inventory, or even a developed idea for one. And I’m enjoying the flu.

So I sit down to brainstorm on Wednesday morning and write half a story. On Thursday morning I write the other half, and send it off to beta readers. I edit based on their suggestions and submit it by late Thursday evening, and after some very minor edits, Bryan accepts it on the following week.

This is, without a doubt, the fastest concept-to-submission-to-sale turnaround I’ve had on a story that isn’t flash-length.

Bryan announced the TOC today. It includes stories from Robert Silverberg, Mike Resnick, Nancy Kress, and many other writers I like and admire. My own story will appear between tales by Jason Sanford and Cat Rambo! Behold the complete table of contents.

Beyond the Sun will be releasing later in 2013.

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Posted by Alex Shvartsman

Publication: Life at the Lake’s Shore in FISH

January 27, 2013

fish cover_FINAL sm (1)

At long last, the FISH anthology from Dagan Books is out!

Edited by Carrie Cuinn and KV Taylor, FISH is a collection of strange and wonderful stories of piscine nature.  My own story in this collection is “Life at the Lake’s Shore,” a magical realism retelling of the “Fisherman and the Fish” fairy tale set in Soviet Russia. The story was inspired by the Pushkin’s retelling of the fairy tale, and although it was written back in 2011, it remains one of the strongest short stories I’ve written to date. And if that doesn’t entice you, the TOC is full of stories by awesome people such as Ken Liu, Cat Rambo, Amanda Davis, and many, many more. I just got my contributor copy and can’t wait to start reading!

The e-book is available now, with a paperback copy soon to follow.

As a fledgling small publisher, I know all too well how much of a difference it makes to the publisher’s bottom line when readers choose to buy the e-book directly from the m. So don’t wait to pick it up on Amazon or elsewhere; support Dagan Books by purchasing a copy of MOBI or EPUB e-books from them!

 

 

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