New Publication: An Indelible Feast (aka the Kosher Pig story) at Stupefying Stories Showcase

November 15, 2013

I don’t remember exactly how it came about, but one day I got it into my head that I should write a kosher pig story. Challenge accepted! From this silly notion, “An Indelible Feast” was born.

I’m a foodie. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, and I don’t party — but I love a good meal. So it was only natural for me to write a story laden with foodie references.  Ferran Adria is a real chef, by the way. I guess he better open a fancy molecular gastronomy restaurant by 2015, or my story will become dated!

Read the story here:

Stupefying Stories Showcase #10

Some other exciting news to report:

Mike Resnick accepted my cybernetic-assassin-who-can’t-feel-pain story “Doubt” for an upcoming issue of Galaxy’s Edge magazine.

“Coffee in End Times,” a story I co-wrote with Alvaro Zinos-Amaro was accepted at Nature and will run sometime in early 2014.

“The Keepsake Box” was accepted at Daily Science Fiction and will also likely appear in early 2014 (though their schedule varies).

My volume of sales is likely to slow down a lot in the near future, as I concentrate on the novel instead of pumping out more short stories and I will miss it terribly. Because receiving that acceptance in my inbox never gets old!

#SFWApro

 


PhilCon 2013 Schedule

November 5, 2013

I’ll be at PhilCon this weekend, participating on a variety of panels. I’ll also have a reading and a signing. This is my schedule:

#SFWAPro

    • Fri 7:00 PM in Crystal Ballroom Three—“Ender’s Game”: The Book versus The Movie (1504)Just one week before Philcon 2013, Hollywood finally released a film version of the classic SF novel “Ender’s Game”. How did the movie differ from the book. Were the changes necessary, or did they change the tone and theme of the story? Did they do it right?

Andrew C. Murphy (mod), Andrew Breslin, Alex Shvartsman, Tim Souder

    • Sat 11:00 AM in Autograph Table—Autograph: Neil Clarke, Alex Shvartsman (1671)

Neil Clarke (mod), Alex Shvartsman

    • Sat 1:00 PM in Plaza III (Three)—Editing Anthologies: Beyond the Gimmick (1499)Anthologies are often sold on the basis of a gimmick or concept that connects the stories, such as “Killer Rutabagas from Space”. How do you get beyond the gimmick to a work of substance?

Elektra Hammond (mod), Brian Koscienski, Alex Shvartsman, Keith R.A. DeCandido

    • Sat 6:00 PM in Crystal Ballroom Two—Becoming a Full Time Writer (1496)How do you become a full time writer? Is that a good idea for you?

Alyce Wilson (mod), Alex Shvartsman, David Sklar, D.L. Carter, Thomas Willeford

    • Sun 11:00 AM in Executive Suite 623—Reading: Alex Shvartsman (1664)

Alex Shvartsman (mod)

    • Sun 2:00 PM in Crystal Ballroom Two—Meet the Editors Panel (1535)Magazine and book editors discuss the current fiction markets.

Marvin Kaye (mod), Danielle Ackley-McPhail, Alex Shvartsman, Ian Randal Strock, Neal Levin, April Grey

 


New Publication: In the Wake of the Storm

October 22, 2013

This October is flying by faster than any month has a right to.  I’ve been incredibly swamped with a variety of projects, but wanted to pop in and post a quick update.

New Publications:

“In the Wake of the Storm” is live today at BuzzyMag.com

This is a modern fantasy story about the aftermath of super-storm Sandy in NYC.  The opening scene was inspired by my own experience helping my stepfather deal with the flood damage while trying to get around in the borough deprived of electricity and gasoline.  This is the actual photo I took inside of his house:

Water surge flooded most basements or even ground floors in Rockaway. The high-water line in this photo is at nearly six feet.

Water surge flooded most basements or even ground floors in Rockaway. The high-water line in this photo is at nearly six feet.

I loved playing with the voice and tone of this story, but the best part was that publishers at Buzzy were kind enough to schedule it to go live just before the one year anniversary of Sandy! I hope it will be well-received.

#SFWApro“A Man in an Angel Costume” is live at Horror d’oeuvres.

This one is behind a pay wall but may be well worth for horror fans, as they provide lots of content including a weekly flash story. I read a handful and enjoyed most of them, even though I am not typically a horror reader.

“A Man in an Angel Costume” is one of my oldest stories that haven’t sold previously. But I never gave up on it — I love the prose poetry opening that transitions into a more traditional narrative as the story develops. Some editors really hated this format while for others it came very close, but I never gave up and kept submitting it, until the story found a right home.

New Sales

If I had to choose one signature story to represent my writing, I would definitely go with “Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma,” a humor fantasy piece about a magic pawn shop which was published at InterGalactic Medicine Show earlier this year. I’m extraordinarily pleased that IGMS also picked up its sequel, “High-Tech Fairies and the Pandora Perplexity.” It will appear in an upcoming issue, though I don’t have the exact time frame yet.

There are also a handful of reprint sales (two instances of markets taking three reprint stories each!) One is a printed magazine and another a mobile platform. I will be able to talk more about both sometime in the near future, but I’m glad to find more ways to share my stories with readers.

Conventions

I had a wonderful time at CapClave and hope to return next year. My next convention will be PhilCon in November and I will post my panel schedule once I have it.

Unidentified Funny Objects 2

The book launched on October 7 and the sales are solid. In fact, we’ve sold more copies of UFO2 so far than we did copies of UFO1 in its first month! So definitely moving in the right direction.

Coffee

I’m woefully behind on this project, but the good news is that the stories have been copy-edited and should go out to book designers for e-book and physical layout later this week. It’ll be really tough to meet the November goal, but I still expect to have them out to all Kickstarter backers before Christmas.

Dark Expanse

This project is chugging along on schedule, and the anthology should release in the first quarter of 2014.

Unidentified Funny Objects 3

I am already laying some groundwork for the third volume of the series, such as inviting headliners, lining up a cover artist, etc. So far I have two stories in already from two Big Name authors. But I won’t tell you more until I’m ready to make an official announcement, because I am mean and I like to tease people.

 

And that’s all the updates I have for now. Back to the pixel mines for me!


Capclave 2013 Schedule

October 10, 2013

I’ll be attending CapClave this weekend, having chosen it over the NY Comic Con.  I’ll be missing NYCC for yet another year, but given CapClave’s focus on short fiction, choosing to drive 4+ hours to attend it instead of a 45 minute subway ride to ComicCon makes a lot of sense to me.

My current CapClave schedule is as follows:

#SFWApro

Friday 4:00 pm: Editors’ Pet Peeves (Ends at: 4:55 pm)
Panelists: Mike McPhail, Norm Sherman (M), Alex Shvartsman, Hildy Silverman
The next great story has been sent to the editor. But the author did this…
Friday 5:00 pm: Author’s Table Friday 5 (Ends at: 5:55 pm)
Panelists: Alex Shvartsman
Friday 9:00 pm: Reading: Alex Shvartsman (Ends at: 9:25 pm)
Panelists: Alex Shvartsman
Saturday 9:00 am: Short Fiction Sources (Ends at: 9:55 am)
Panelists: Neil Clarke, Mike McPhail (M), Alex Shvartsman, Sean Wallace
Aside from the not so big anymore three magazines, where do you go for short fiction? What online sources have the best stories?
Saturday 4:00 pm: The Worlds of Clifford Simak (Ends at: 4:55 pm)
Panelists: Jamie Todd Rubin (M), Darrell Schweitzer, Alex Shvartsman, Michael Swanwick
50 years ago Simak won a Hugo for Way Station. He also wrote City and the Hugo and Nebula winning “Grotto of the Dancing Deer.” Yet today, few younger fans have read his work which is available only in the small press and “public domain” compilations. What happened? What makes his stories so timeless? What do you think is his best work and how can it be revived for today’s audiences?
Sunday 9:00 am: Jesus Saves, So Should Writers. Ctrl-S (Ends at: 9:55 am)
Panelists: Judi Fleming, Rahul Kanakia (M), Dina Leacock, Alex Shvartsman, Bud Sparhawk
Practical tips for writers – How do you keep track of different versions and edits? How often do you back up? How do you track where a story has already been submitted? And what do you use for outlining/note taking?

There are occasionally last minute changes and additions. You can click on this link to see the most up-to-date list of panels I’ll be participating on at the con.


Three chances to get a free copy of UFO2!

October 8, 2013

UFO2cover#SFWApro

It’s been a busy, busy week.

I shipped out several hundred copies of physical UFO book to Kickstarter supporters, distributors, and pre-orders. I set up the digital book to make it available on Amazon, Smashwords, B&N. and Kobo.  I hosted a launch party for UFO2 on Sunday (thanks to everyone who came by!) and attended a SFWA reception on Monday, where I got to hang out with some of our awesome contributors as well as hand out a few copies of the book.

If you haven’t attended one of these things, there are at least three separate opportunities for you to snag a free copy of UFO2:

1) GoodReads giveaway:

You can enter the GoodReads giveaway between now and October 20th to win a paperback copy signed by me.

2) Jim C. Hine’s giveaway:

Jim is giving away a signed copy  of either UFO2 or Heroes in Training on his blog to one person who contributes to Eugie Foster’s fundraiser. Eugie Foster is battling cancer right now and could really use the extra help, so please consider contributing to this.

3) J.W. Alden’s giveaway:

JW Alden is also giving away a copy of the book on his blog. All you have to do is post int he comments!

And if you don’t win? You can always click here and follow the links to buy a copy of the book from your favorite e-tailer. Or, buy a copy directly from UFO Publishing. I’ll get to keep more of the money and use it on — what else? — putting together UFO3!3

And, just in case you need a little more convincing, before you fork over some hard-earned cash for a copy of this book, check out our first review, by David Kilman at Amazing Stories.

 

 

 


Thoughts on Breaking Bad Finale (Caution: Spoilers Ahead)

September 30, 2013

All bad things must come to an end.

It happens all the time: a great show comes along, hooks the viewer with an incredible first season, and then runs of out steam. It goes on for a few more seasons and, as a viewer, I am loyal enough to keep watching. But I just want it to end, because by that point the show has become a shell of its former shell. It never recaptures the greatness that was it’s opening salvo. Some examples of that are Heroes and Prison Break.

Breaking Bad, on the other hand, remained fascinating throughout its five season run, and — if anything — it kept getting better. The show took a few seasons to find its tone. When it began, it reminded me of Weeds. The show was lighter, seemed to take itself less seriously. Then it veered toward the dark and over-bent the stick. The second season had a few episodes that were too slow and contemplative, as if to make up for the indiscretions of its first-season youth. The Fly comes to mind. Then the show finally hit its stride, developed fascinating new characters like Gus Fring and Mike, and it was smooth sailing forward.

The final season was so good that, by comparison, the actual finale was relatively tame. An argument can be made that the real resolution came two episodes earlier, in aptly-named “Ozymandias.” However, Vince Gilligan needed to tie up loose ends and he set about doing that with great proficiency. Overall I quite enjoyed how the show ended, except for one very important element.

Major spoilers follow, so if you haven’t watched the finale yet, please do not read anything below the picture.

carlosdanger#SFWApro

So here is what I had so much trouble with: I feel that Walt was given an easy way out.

It’s clear that he didn’t expect to survive his encounter with the Nazis. He went in there expecting to die, and probably expecting to add Jesse to the long list of enemies he would have revenge against before it was all over. I like the fact that he makes the last minute decision to save Jesse. I also like that he provides Jesse with at least some closure by giving him the gun and the opportunity to take Walt out. I like that Jesse refuses this opportunity.

However, the death Walter has been by the writers of the show given is almost a gift. It’s the best possible thing that could happen to him at that point. He found a way to provide for his family, defeated all of his enemies, and now he gets to go out in a blaze of glory, and to fade to black on the floor of the lab that was his brain child. Worst of all, this is something that happens to Walt. The character that has had so much agency throughout the show, and especially in the final episode, is given a relatively graceful exit that he has no control over at all.

This is how I would have changed the ending (and I say this realizing fully that Vince Gilligan and his team of writers are absolutely brilliant, and I’m presuming, rather foolishly, to rewrite them.  Still, hear me out.):

I would keep everything the same until the moment Walt and Jesse are on the ground, except for the bullet that finds Walt. I think that Jesse’s decision not to exact further revenge on his ex-mentor becomes a lot more redemptive and powerful if he doesn’t see that Walt is wounded.

For the final scene, I would have liked to have Walt standing in the meth lab, surrounded by the equipment he designed, watching the approaching police cars, gun in hand. I wanted him unencumbered by the mortal wound, forced to make a decision — does he take his own life, or does he surrender to the authorities at this point? I wanted him struggling with this decision for several long, delicious moments.

In the end, had I been writing the finale, I would have had Walt wait for the cops to enter the lab, then fire several shots above their heads, forcing them to return fire and take him out. Suicide by cop. Walt would retain his agency up until the very end, unwilling to take his own life, unwilling to be arrested, and able to engineer the very last bit of violence to serve his ego.

An ending along these lines would have been icing on the cake for me. Endings are hard. Especially so for character-driven TV series with many sub-plots and story lines to resolve. More often than not we get far less satisfactory endings (see the recent Dexter finale). Whether you agree with letting Walt have the death that he does, allowing Jesse to escape, having paid his penance over the course of the show, or allowing Saul to slink away in the previous episode, the great story arc of the final season trumps any specific character decisions we may or may not agree with as viewers, and will be remembered as some of the finest work in television dramas for years to come.

 

 


New Publication: The Rumination On What Isn’t in Nature

September 26, 2013

rumination

I’m thrilled to have what I consider my strongest flash story to date to be published in the journal of Nature this week. You can read the story on the web. You can also listen to it — they were also nice enough to podcast it (read very nicely by Kerri Smith).

I wrote “Rumination” in one hour-long sitting. I woke up very early in the morning, and my son Josh’s health was weighing heavily on me. He was five years old, and began experiencing some stomach problems. We had a strong suspicion that he was becoming gluten-intolerant, and were waiting to see a specialist in a few days.

Mind you, I have a number of friends who live with various degrees of gluten sensitivity. I certainly don’t mean to imply that such a diagnosis would in any way be equivalent to what the characters in this story are going through. However, it is not something I would wish on any five-year-old, and my dark mood helped produce a much more emotional story than I am normally capable of,

Josh’s stomach problems thankfully proved to be far less severe; he isn’t allergic/sensitive to anything so far, and I hope it remains that way. But the story went on to earn first place in a Codex anonymous flash-fiction contest among fifty-odd competitors, and went on to become my fourth story to be accepted and published at Nature — all with virtually no revision at all from that version written in the early winter morning this January.

Earlier this week I had another flash story — “Worldbuilding” — published at Daily Science Fiction. It was e-mailed to the subscribers and will go up on the web in a few days, and I’ll make another post about it then. Meanwhile, I’ll take this opportunity to remind folks that I am going to be doing a live reading of my humorous fiction at the Enigma Book Store this Saturday, along with two other funny writers: Russ Cochamiro and Aaron Rosenberg.  Details are posted here.

 


How Breaking Bad Ends

September 23, 2013

What has become my favorite show of all time is coming to a close.  So to honor it, I’ve come up with a top 10 list of (completely spoiler-free) ideas of how this show will end, next Sunday:

#SFWApro

10) The real reason Walter returns home is to retrieve a key to the extra-large safe full of Breaking Bad Emmy awards.

bb_emmy

9) Candy makers achieve 96% purity in Blue Crystal Meth Rock Candy.

blue-crystal

8) Hank Schrader returns to exact bloody revenge on his enemies… in the second season of Under the Dome.

deannorris

7) Jealous of Saul Goodman’s spinoff show, Jesse gets his own comedy sitcom.

pinkman

6) Holly White goes on to enjoy a successful acting career as the next eTrade baby.

etradetrade-baby

5) Vince Gilligan is revealed to be another pseudonym of J.K. Rowling.

rowling

4) Walt admits to flirting with women online as his alter ego:

carlosdanger

3) In the finale, Heisenberg kills Dumbledore.

 

2) Skyler White goes on to write a kick-ass fantasy novel with Steven Brust.

incrementalists-cover-reveal-small

And the #1 way Breaking Bad ends is… (drumroll):

1) Walter White enters the witness protection program and moves to the suburbs. That’s how Malcolm in the Middle begins.

cast

Thanks, Breaking Bad for many years of great television.

 


Podcast of You Bet

September 15, 2013

 

“You Bet,” the short humor story I wrote to explain what’s happening in the wacky cover art of Unidentified Funny Objects volume 1 was released as a Podcast today by Cast of Wonders. You can listen to it here. As usual, the CoW team and particularly reader John Meagher did a wonderful job with producing this story.  I really wanted to see this one produced in audio because there is a nice ensemble cast of characters in it, all speaking in wacky voices. The episode is just over 15 minutes long. and I encourage you to check it out.

This is my second story at Cast of Wonders (with the third one on the way). My previous story with them was “The Field Trip,” the translation of which happened to have been released in Romanian today. If you speak the language, you can check it out in the current issue of Revista SRSFF.

It’s really cool to have stories published in the United Kingdom and Romania at the same time. I’m also excited that one of my stories will be published in my native Russian soon. I will post details about that when I can.

 


Speculative Humor Event at Enigma Book Store

September 9, 2013

enigma#SFWApro

Do you want to hear me read some of my stories out loud? Get signed copies of anthologies I’m in? Meet the mighty Pthulhu the Plush Cthulhu? Have a chance to win free books?

Are you willing to put up with all of the above for an opportunity to meet two other cool authors?

If so, come to the Enigma Book Store on Saturday, September 28.  Here are the complete details of the event:

 

THE EVENING OF SF/F HUMOR AT ENIGMA BOOK STORE
Meet three New York authors who specialize in humorous science fiction and fantasy. Join Russ ColchamiroAaron Rosenberg, and Alex Shvartsman for a laughter-packed evening atEnigma Book Store on Saturday, September 28, 6-9pm.
The event will feature:
* Readings
* Signings
* A discussion of humor in genre fiction
* A raffle
Russ Colchamiro is the author of the raunchy SF backpacking comedy Finders Keepers, and the mysterious SF adventure Crossline. Russ is currently at work on the first of two Finders Keepers sequels that will complete the first trilogy in the ongoing series. Russ is also a member of Crazy 8 Press.
A lifelong New Yorker, Russ is married with two children, and is currently searching for permanent residence in New Jersey, although he’s still not entirely sure why.
Web: www.russcolchamiro.com
Twitter: @authorduderuss
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RussColchamiroAuthor
Aaron Rosenberg is the author of the best-selling DuckBob SF comedy series, including the novels No Small Bills and Too Small for Tall. He also writes the Dread Remora space-opera series and, with David Niall Wilson, the O.C.L.T. occult thriller series. He has written children’s books, including the award-winning Bandslam: The Junior Novel and the #1 best-selling 42: The Jackie Robinson Story. Aaron has also authored educational books on a variety of topics, and over seventy roleplaying games, including the Origins Award-winning Gamemastering Secrets and the Gold ENnie-winning Lure of the Lich Lord. He is the co-creator of the ReDeus anthology series, and one of the founders of Crazy 8 Press. Aaron lives in New York with his family.
Web: www.gryphonrose.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/gryphonrose
Twitter: @gryphonrose
Alex Shvartsman is a writer, translator, anthologist, and game designer from Brooklyn, NY. He had over 50 short stories published in venues such as The Journal of Nature, InterGalactic Medicine Show, Daily Science Fiction, Galaxy’s Edge.
Alex edits Unidentified Funny Objects, an annual anthology series of humorous science fiction & fantasy. The second volume is due out in early October. His other anthology, Coffee: Caffeinated Tales of the Fantastic is due out in late November.
Web: www.alexshvartsman.com
Twitter: @ASvhartsman
Facebook: www.facebook.com/shvartsman.alex
Event hosted by:
Enigma Book Store
33-17 Crescent Street
Astoria, NY 11106
718-274-BOOK
Facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/Enigma-Bookstore
Twitter: @EnigmaBookstore
Saturday, September 28, 6-9pm
You can (but don’t have to) RSVP via Facebook.