UFO2 Submissions Open Tonight

April 30, 2013

ufo2

The submissions are opening tonight for the UFO2 anthology and will remain open throughout the month of May. Please read the guidelines here and feel free to submit when ready (yes, a few hours early is OK.)

I would also like to remind everyone that the UFO2 Kickstarter campaign has entered its final 48-hour stretch. At this point we still need to raise nearly $3,000 in order to be funded. The anthology will be published regardless, but our level of success on Kickstarter will determine the overall volume of fiction I can buy for this book, whether I can afford to buy additional content for the web site, whether I can afford to pay for the highest-quality copy-editing and book design services…  In short, I need the extra funds to make UFO the best possible book I can produce.

Please consider pre-ordering your copy via Kickstarter as well as spreading the word about it to anyone who might possibly be interested in the next two days. Thank you!

Click here to view the UFO2 Kickstarter page.

 

 


Five Practical Tips on Writing Humor

April 29, 2013

I wrote a very long, very detailed post on how to incorporate humor into your writing.

You can’t teach someone to be funny. However, most people are already funny; funnier than they believe themselves to be. Some of that can be harnessed and translated onto the page.  Check out this essay, which is posted as a guest-blog post at Dark Cargo.


Two Funny Stories Published in April

April 26, 2013
Artwork by Andres Mossa

Artwork by Andres Mossa

 

I’ve been so busy with UFO2 Kickstarter and submissions that I’ve neglected to announce several of my recent publications (which I will gleefully catch up on in this post!)

Explaining Cthulhu to Grandma at Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show

This is easily the funniest story I’ve had published to date. One day I was loitering on Twitter and saw friend and fellow writer Sylvia Spruck Wrigley complain about the difficulty she was having explaining Cthulhu to grandma.

“That would make a great story title,” I told her. She agreed, and said that she would try to come up with something that fit.

A few weeks passed and the title stuck with me, so I followed up with Sylvia to see if she had made any progress. She said that she hadn’t and I asked if I could use the title myself. She said yes, and I wrote the story within a couple of days — which is super fast, for me. I named the protagonist Sylvia and named her character’s grandmother and gran-grandmother after Sylvia’s own mom and grandma.

This story is about a magic pawn shop. Somebody trades in Cthulhu on pawn (it’s stored in a handy pocket dimension which looks like a snow globe) and all sorts of wackiness ensues. I have since written a sequel where a Pandora’s box finds its way into the magic pawn shop, and plan on writing more stories in this setting.

IGMS is a great home for this story. They published it today in issue #33, and while you have to subscribe to read the entire story, you can read an excerpt and see the awesome original artwork by Andres Mossa in full size by clicking this link.

The Epistolary History at The Journal of Nature

theepistolaryhistory

This is a flash fiction story about a hapless time traveler I wrote in February. In honor of the letter-writing month it’s told entirely through letters. Since this one is available online for free, I will direct you to read it rather than telling you too much more about it.

Amusingly I received e-mail acceptances for these two stories within a *minute* of each other, making that pretty much the best minute of my writing career, ever. It’s fitting that they were published within 24 hours of each other, too.

The Field Trip at Cast of Wonders

The Field Trip is now my most cosmopolitan story yet. It was originally printed in the In Situ anthology from Dagan Books. It has been translated into Polish and was accepted to be translated and published in Romanian. And now it’s been podcast by a UK audio magazine. You can listen to it here. This is the first time this story is available online for free.

Putting it All Together at Toasted Cake

This story is the only one of the four that isn’t humorous. Instead, it’s very lyrical — which is well outside of my normal writing comfort zone. And Tina Connolly was the perfect performer to read it! The story was originally published at Nine Magazine, which is sadly defunct. It’s not currently available anywhere online in print form,  but you can listen and enjoy the podcast.

And that’s my recap for April. Next month I have stories coming out in Daily Science Fiction, One Sentence Stories anthology, and Buzzy Magazine. Stay tuned!

 

 


Market Report: Neverland’s Library

April 25, 2013

This is the first installment of a new irregular column on my blog where I will highlight promising new short fiction markets that are open or soon opening to submissions

Neverland’s Library – A Crowdfunded Fantasy Anthology

Click here for detailed Guidelines

Submission period: March 5 through June 30, 2013

Genres: Fantasy

Length: 2000-8000 words (somewhat flexible)

Pay rate: $0.03/word  + copy

Rights: First rights, 6 month exclusivity after release

Estimated response time: 2 weeks

Editors: Roger Bellini and Rebecca Lovatt

Rebecca and Roger are both fantasy book reviews who blog at the Arched Doorway and A Daily Dose of R&R respectively. Their goal in creating this anthology is twofold – to introduce new readers to the genre of fantasy, and to support a worthy cause. The theme for this book, as defined by the editors, is “the rediscovery of the fantastic.”

In addition to the open submission call, some of the authors invited to contribute to this book include Mark Lawrence, William Meikle, and Marie Brennan. The introduction will be written by Tad Williams.

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Why rediscovery of the fantastic? What made you select this theme to build the anthology around?

Originally we chose the theme of rediscovery because we wanted people who might have thought they were too old for fantasy. It’s a chance for them to rediscover that passion they once had for imaginative works. We then stuck with it because it worked perfectly with the non-profit organization we wanted to partner with for the project.


What sort of stories are you looking to collect for this project? Are there any genre restrictions? Would you consider urban fantasy, horror, or slipstream, if the story fits the theme of rediscovery?
We’re looking for stories in the fantasy genre, and sub-genres that fit within the perimeters of our theme, which we’ve left very open to individual interpretation. While we’ve opened this to all sub-genres, we’re both more of traditional fantasy fans and that can tend to show up sometimes in our selections. However, occasionally there’s a story that stretches the bounds of what we thought the anthology would entail and we’re compelled to accept it because it’s just “that good!” A great example of this is a Lovecraftian story we recently accepted from a name that you’ll soon be familiar with, Peter Rawlik.

That’s just one example. So in conclusion, we’ll consider horror, urban fantasy, steampunk. We’re very open. If your story is good enough to make us stop and take notice, then we’ll be glad to consider it for inclusion.

What are you seeing too much of in the slush? Have any trends surprised you (in a good way or bad)?

Stories regarding or containing dragons seem to be the most common. While there’s nothing wrong with that, it is nice to see a change every now and then. Many of these stories contain a lot of similar elements and can be repetitive at times.

As for things that have surprised us…  I’d have to say it’s the lack of stories submitted with female leads. I’m not an advocate for the necessity of the genders being balanced perfectly, but I would definitely love to read a few more well written stories featuring characters that female readers can relate with.
Will you be looking to include humorous stories into NL? What sort of humor works/doesn’t work for your editorial tastes?
In this particular anthology, we are not including humorous stories. However, we’ve not ruled out potentially doing a future volume featuring that type of story.

Roger: I personally enjoy a very dry sarcastic humor. I’d liken my tastes to that which you might see in Indie comedy films such as “Little Miss Sunshine” or “Silver Linings Playbook.”

Rebecca: Is this some kind of joke? I find nothing funny. Literally, ever. I am not amused.

What is the First Book charity and how are you hoping to support it via this project?
First Book is a non-profit organization that aims to reduce illiteracy by providing educational texts and books for children of low-income families who may not have access to them otherwise.

We’re hoping to support them through Neverland’s Library in a couple of ways. First, through raising awareness about who they are and what their organization’s goal is. Second, we’ll be splitting all profits from this anthology 50/50 between First Book and the funding of future installments. After having raised enough for the next installments, we’ll then begin donating the entirety of the profits to First Book.
Our goal in this project was never to make a personal profit. We’ll not be personally receiving a dime from this, and that’s the way we want it to be.  Our newest update goes into a bit more detail about First Book.

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Like so many quality projects this day, Neverland’s Library relies on the generosity of its readers to help get this project off the ground. They recently launched a crowdfunding campaign on IndieGoGo. Please back their project by following the link below. You’ll be supporting both a creative writing endeavor and a worthy charity.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/neverland-s-library-anthology

If you’re launching a new speculative fiction magazine or anthology that is open to submissions and is paying at least semi-pro rates, and wish to be interviewed on this blog, please feel free to contact me.


How to Get a Free Copy of UFO

April 23, 2013

Heads up! There is less than 48 hours remaining in the Goodreads giveaway for a signed trade paperback copy of Unidentified Funny Objects. All you have to do is follow this link and click on the giveaway. It’s 100% free. They won’t try to sell you a condo or sign your dog up for a credit card. Honest.

The only downside to the Goodreads giveaway is that you are competing with hundreds of readers who want the book as much as you do. Last time I ran a giveaway, over 1500 people signed up. Right now there are already over 800 people signed up. Still, it’s free.

Want better odds than that? UFO Associate Editor and contributor Nathaniel Lee is running his own UFO giveaway on his blog. Just post  a joke in the comments to enter, and if you’re one of the super-nice people who backed UFO2 on Kickstarter, you get an extra entree! And, I bet, if you are really nice to Nat, he might even sign the book for you.

As for UFO2 — it is possible to get a free copy of that as well. It’s called a contributor copy. All you have to do is sell us a story! Remember — submissions will open on May 1, and there are convenient guidelines posted here.


UFO Can Haz Funny Cartoon

April 19, 2013

I’ve been cheating on this blog with all the other blogs.

While I’ve been egregiously ignoring my blogging duties here, my interviews have popped up at the W1S1 site and Emma Larkin’s blog this week.  I even cavorted with several podcasts, appearing on The Gamer’s Dome (which, incidentally, is what actually lies beyond Thunderdome) and having an awesome disagreement about the merits of Babylon 5 on an episode of the DJ Grandpa podcast which is scheduled to air this coming Monday.

All of this, of course, is in the effort to raise awareness of the ongoing UFO2 Kickstarter campaign. I’m willing to dispense my cheap jokes elsewhere, dance in front of SF conventions wearing a zombear suit, and even allow my my voice to be heard on podcasts, in order to raise awareness of this book. Because it is scientifically proven (aka I read the list of referring links on the Kickstarter page) that doing such things helps bring new backers to the project.

You and I know that the readers of this blog are the smartest, wittiest, and most interesting SF fans anywhere. FDA won’t let me claim this outright as a fact, so I’m insinuating it instead. And now, you have an opportunity to prove it. Click on this link and pledge to the UFO2 Kickstarter campaign.  Not only will you get an awesome collection of humorous short stories, but you will also help prove beyond doubt how awesome you all are. Because I will be able to click on the Dashboard of the Kickstarter account and see how much support is coming from *this site*. And then I will be inclined — nay, morally obligated — to blog a lot more often.

Think about that.

And while you think, I shall leave you with this awesome cartoon, courtesy of writer and illustrator Douglas Sterling:

alien


On The Gamer’s Dome Live Tonight

April 16, 2013

dome

I will be appearing on The Gamer’s Dome podcast live tonight, sometime between 10pm and 10:30pm EST. We’ll talk about writing, gaming, and UFO2. Be sure to tune in!

 


UFO2 Submission Guidelines Are Posted

April 5, 2013

We are going to have an open submission period in May.  SFWA and Codex members have an “early pass” and can submit now. The guidelines are posted here:

UFO Series

There are some changes from the last year’s guidelines, so please read carefully. So far, more than 50% of the handful of submissions we already received either failed to remove the identifying information from their document (annoying, since I have to then do it before forwarding the story to associate editors) or failed to include the info I asked for in the subject line (much less annoying, but still indicates inattention to guidelines), or both!

A minor guideline infraction like that won’t hurt anyone’s chances — after all, the editors who are reading the submission won’t even be aware of it — but it doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it here 🙂

Meanwhile, the Kickstarter campaign is in full swing. We raised $1500 in the first 48 hours and are up to 60 backers as of the writing of this post. Now that we got past the initial rush, the tough slog begins. We must raise an average of $250 per day in order to meet our funding goals. So please consider pre-ordering your copy of UFO2 via Kickstarter sooner, rather than later, and help us spread the word of this project to others:

 


UFO2 Kickstarter is live

April 2, 2013

Unidentified Funny Objects 2 is coming to the bookshelf near you this September!

I already have stories from Robert Silverberg, Mike Resnick and Ken Liu. In addition, Esther Friesner, Jody Lynn Nye, and Tim Pratt agreed to contribute stories to this volume. And we hope to announce several more headliners this month.

Meanwhile, I can really use everyone’s help. Funding a quality anthology is *expensive*. It cost about $15,000 to create and print the original UFO book. I think I can keep these costs down to under $12,000 this time around, but it’s still a lot of money. So I went back to Kickstarter in order to help cover some of these costs. If you enjoyed the first book, or simply think the idea of an annual humor SF/F anthology is a good one and it’s something that should exist in the world, please consider supporting this project on Kickstarter.

Also, please help spread the word. The more money I can raise this month, the more cool stuff I’ll be able to do for this book and for the UFO web site.  I will blog lots more about this project, but for now the text of the Kickstarter campaign should cover most of the basics. Check it out!


Hugo Noms and Adventures in Self Publishing

March 30, 2013

The Hugo Awards nominations were announced earlier today, and there is some great reading material on that list (and a number of things I haven’t yet read as well). The complete list of nominated works and publications is posted here.

I was especially pleased to see John Scazi’s “Redshirts” on the list, which I enjoyed and which was on my Nebula ballot but did not make the final cut there. I was disappointed not to see Ken Liu’s “The Waves” which remains the best thing I’ve read in 2012, but Ken is on the ballot with the excellent “Mono No Aware,” one of only three short stories to make the ballot this year.

And, of course, I’m disappointed not to have made the Campbell ballot. I never felt like I had a great shot, but a number of fellow writers and editors told me that I was on their ballots, and so I allowed myself to hope, at least a little. And even though I didn’t make it, those nominations mean a great deal to me, and I thank those of you who made room for me on your ballots from the bottom of my heart.

The Dragon Ships of Tycho

At the beginning of the month I made my first foray into the world of self-publishing.  I chose 3 stories that are sufficiently similar in length, style and content, and made each of them available on the Kindle for $0.99 each. At the end of each story there are plugs and pictures of the cover for the other two. I figured that the readers who bought one and liked it, would then snap up the other two. I didn’t know what to expect in terms of sales, but figured that the numbers — good or bad — would be similar across the three stories. Boy, was I wrong.

Here are the actual sales of the three stories, between March 5 and March 30, according to Amazon:

A Better Tomorrow – 1 sale

Price of Allegiance – 3 sales

The Dragon Ships of Tycho – 36 sales (35 in the US and 1 in France)

I dearly wish I knew what set “Dragon Ships” apart from the other two stories, so I could figure out a way to replicate its success. Is it a more evocative name? A more engaging description of the story? Something else entirely? Or just blind luck?

My next step is to try other venues. Last night I uploaded the stories to B&N, Kobo, and Smashwords. My experience with UFO suggests that the sales in those venues are tiny compared to Amazon. but I’m very curious to see if “Dragon Ships” will continue to outperform the other two stories across platforms.